i am self employed but my spouse is not. but turbo tax is requiring both to buy the self employed package, which is incorrect

If you are preparing your returns together with a spouse, then both returns are in the same file, so both will be using the same version of TurboTax. So, even if only one of you is self-employed, you'll both be using the self-employed version, and will both be charged the same. 

If you don't want to use the same version as your spouse, you can prepare your returns separately.